Staying in my lane

I love this picture of my boys. It is a metaphor for my post today. As I am sure many of you, like me, have struggled through this unusual time during the pandemic, I have found myself very unmotivated, yet looking for an excuse to really make a difference. Really make a change. I have always wanted to start a business, I have many creative outlets, all of which I have considered taking out into the public, but have struggled all of my life with self esteem, confidence, whatever else that I can put a label too, you name it, I have used it as an excuse to keep from failing. That is my biggest fear, failure, disappointment. The other part of the equation is not being able to narrow down exactly what it is I want to market, because I have a passion for so many avenues of being creative. Another really big roadblock is my need to do everything perfect, and if it is not perfect, no one else is going to buy what I have to offer. With all that being said, I have realized staying in my lane, doing what I am really passionate about is where I need to focus my attention. I love entertaining, I love creating experiences for people, decorating for clients and considering each little detail. I remember reading once somewhere and I have never forgotten it when working on a project, Kate Spade, one of my favorite designers wrote, I always create a little element of suprise in my purses or when I am designing pieces, even if it is just for your eyes only to enjoy, that is what makes it special. I always think about that when I am decorating in my home or a tablescape. I consider each element of the table or if its a small corner no one really sees or enjoys in your home, I love to put a special piece of artwork or color just as a suprise, something to make you smile when you see it. I hope that by putting this out into the universe I am able to gather the confidence to make a difference, even a small difference while doing what I love for someone. I absolutly love when I bring someone into an event I have created and they are smiling from ear to ear. I think the one thing I want and need to stop doing is to stop comparing myself to everyone I see around me. Everyone has different strengths, different opinions and different styles. There is always going to be someone who is critical and always someone who is going to praise what you do and that is how we grow, how we improve, how we succeed! Not just in what we do, but also how we live our lives. What I do with my family, how I raise my children, how I manage my marriage, it might not be for everyone. When I look outside my own family, there are many moments I have said, why can't we be like them, why don't we have that, but at the ripe old age of 54 I am finally realizing, I have been in some ways living in my lane, and doing what I love all along. Admittedly, not in all areas, but in my home, I live in my lane everyday, yes, I am still envious at times of those who seem to move along with no roadblocks, who always seem to manage in any environment. But, I can honestly say I have risen to the occassion many, many times, in crisis and in joy and I am still standing, my family is still in tact and I have a beautiful roof over my head and food on my table each night. For me I would call that "staying in my lane" most of the time. There are many of you, including myself who would say I have driven off the path, sometimes to the point of no return and I would agree with you, but, here I am no matter what point or age I am in my life, still dreaming, still hoping, and still firmly planted. The lane may veer a little but I'm still on it and I hope you continue to stay in your lane as well! !s